I am not sure really if I felt any better. I still didnt feel loved .
Sometimes we can just tell ourselves to delay going through the painful process but inevitably one has to go through it. Its not a choice. I wish it was.
I wish I had a choice not to fall in love. I wish I had a choice not to miss someone dreadfully. I wish I had a choice not to get disappointed when the person I so miss so much is away most of the time.I wish my heart wouldnt hurt when he breaks his promises.
I really do because it hurts so bloody bad and it seems to take forever for the pain to pass.
Sometimes..i think i do not have a right to feel this way. Maybe normal people do not go through this because they are compromising, kind and sincere.
He told me he has through his experiences achieved these choices and for that I must envy him. It will hurt him him less too.
He also said he has tried in the past saving relationships by compromising and changing and it has never worked. My heart shattered to pieces and I cried like I have never cried before when he said that to me. He was sincere but in that sincerity there were also elements of wickedness and cruelty. Lack of empathy for the pain that I was going through. I prayed and asked God to please give me the strength to deal with him. I have been warned of this-premonition but as I have always been- I believe some people do change.
My Best Friend MIguel is here and he is either gonna make me happy or sadder.
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